Confessions of a Former Cork Sniffer

Those that know me know that I laugh at those that are often called cork sniffers.  Whether online or face to face, I'm civil when I'm talking to them, usually.  But there are times that they get on my last nerve.

Now for the uninitiated, let me define what a cork sniffer is.  A cork sniffer is one of those that is so fixated on that specific piece of gear that nothing else is deemed worthy.  Granted, we've all got that piece of guitar, like one of our guitars, that is absolutely the best thing ever and we wouldn't trade for anything.  We've modded the heck out of it, and, despite what others tell us, there is no other guitar in the world that plays as well and sounds as good.  That's not what I'm talking about.  I'm talking about the ones that look down their noses at a Squier or MIM Strat because it's not an MIA Strat.  They're the ones that will crap all over Epiphone because "it'll never be a Gibson."  You get the idea.  They look down their nose at a piece of gear and call it inferior based on its location of manufacture, the brand on the label, or some other seemingly important factor.  That's a cork sniffer, and, in my humble opinion, there are 2 types.

There are those that are just uneducated.  Those are the new players that are basically parroting what they hear others say and have no real basis for their opinion.  They're the ones that say Gibson is the only brand to play because that's what they see their hero talk about and play (although their hero may've played a Tokai until they got their endorsement deal).  I, generally, will give these folks a pass.  Give them some education and experience, and they'll grow out of this stage.  They'll eventually realize that, yes, Gibson is the premium guitar, but bang-for-the-buck there are some Epiphones that may be better than a Gibby.

Then there's the other kind, and they're the ones that really bug me.  I call them "ignernt."  Now, ignernt is a good Texas term.  Around here, if somebody gets called ignernt, the speaker is saying that the speakee is smart enough, they just have chosen to act the fool and be stupid.  They're ignernt.  These are the cork sniffers that I have been known to make fun of sometimes.  They're the ones that are so fixated on a brand (or whatever) that they can't see past the end of their nose.

I was reminded tonight that I used to be one of the second kind  of cork sniffers. Maybe that's why they bug me so much.  And I was reminded of this fact tonight.

Way back when I first started playing, all I knew was acoustic guitars.  The first really nice acoustic that I was exposed to was a Martin.  In fact, through a series of events, after only playing a couple of years, I was blessed to be given my own Martin (a D-35).  Still have that Martin.  It currently needs to have the bridge replaced, but is probably still my fave acoustic.  It's a workhorse of a guitar.  But I digress.

I had a Martin.  All the pro players I knew either played Martin, Taylor, or something really high end like an Olson.  Consequently, outside of Martin and Taylor, I really didn't know anything about guitars.  I had played enough of each of those to know that I knew I liked the traditional Martin sound more than the modern Taylor sound, but they both sounded really nice.

Where I lived, I'd get together and play with a buddy once a week or so (we played in the same band), and we both played Martins.  Another acquaintance at work was given a guitar for Christmas one year by his dad, and asked if my buddy and I would take a look at it and tell him what we thought.  Bless his heart, that was during my days of sniffing corks.

The day that he brought it over to my house, I remember thinking one thing about the guitar and saying something completely different.  In retrospect, I really wish I would have been honest enough with myself to give him an honest review.  All I remember at this point was that it was a jumbo bodied Guild of some sort.  From what I remember about the inlays on it, if it was chosen from their current lineup (although this was 30 years ago now), it would've probably been the equivalent of the F-55.  And that would make sense as, from what I remember he used to say about his parents, they only bought the best.

Anyways, this guitar had a really great sound.  However, it didn't sound anything like a Martin or Taylor.  It was a very full, rich sound.  Very balanced sound.  All around, it was just a really great guitar.  However, because it wasn't a Martin, I don't think I had anything good to say about the guitar that wasn't a backhanded compliment.  "It has a really nice sound for something that's not a Martin."  The other guy that was playing it with me was pretty much like me when it came to guitars.  So he didn't really have anything positive to say about it either.  The guy that had gotten it for Christmas left that evening disappointed that "it'll never sound like a Martin."

I've come a long way since then in both my musical journey and my overall view on life.  I still very much like the sound of a Martin, but I also have a Boulder Creek and a Tacoma, and an Epiphone acoustic.  For electrics, I've got Squiers, MIM and MIA Fenders, as well as Epiphones and Gibsons.  For pedals, I have real live, green Tube Screamers and all kinds of TS clones (including the cheapest, Chinese made ones on Amazon).  I've got a closet full of gear spanning the spectrum of price.

Growing up, my parents tried to teach me to always give people the benefit of the doubt; just because they're different than me doesn't mean they're bad.  Give them the benefit of the doubt until they give me a reason to do otherwise.  As the Disney song says, "if you walk in the footsteps of a stranger, you'll learn things you never knew you never knew."  When it comes to gear, be open minded.  Just because the headstock doesn't say what you think it should doesn't mean it doesn't have a song in it.  Pick it up and play it and see what it says.

And, Joel, if you ever happen upon this to be reading, I really hope you still have that Guild.  Had I not been in the middle of my "Martin or nothing" days, I would have told you that it was a dang skippy nice guitar that had a great, warm sound and anybody should be ecstatic to be able to play.  I'm sure that guitar was full of music if I'd only taken a moment and listened to it.