Only Time for Love

I've recently started doing something that I haven't done in many years. It was something that I'd do when I was a teenager. Truth is, back in those days, it seemed to be an extremely important activity to me. Important enough to me that it helped to shape the journey that I've taken over the years.

I don't recall that it was ever anything that I decided to quit doing. It's just one of those things that slowly faded away. Never noticed that it was fading, it was that slow and gradual. I guess it was slow and gradual. Maybe it was an overnight thing, and I just didn't realize it. I'm not even sure when it stopped, but I can now go back and see that there must've been a couple of times when it was missing more than other times by looking at my CD shelf. Looking at the gaps on those shelves shows me the times where life just got busy and things would get squeezed out.

That activity is just listening to music for the sake of listening to music.

Music is many things. It helps us remain grounded. It helps us say things we can't say with words. It's how our soul gets that relief that is so desperately needs sometimes. It is in everything we do because it's part of us.

In junior high and high school, there were times that I would take hours and just sit and listen. Then I'd get together with my brother from another mother, and we'd talk about our favorite bands and what they were playing and discuss their lyrics. Sometimes we'd talk about the profundity found in simplicity that it seems only a songwriter can find sometimes.

Even into my 20s, there was plenty of time to just listen. The job I had first put me on airplanes a LOT. I always had my walkman with me and several tapes in my briefcase. I'd sometimes spend several hours at a time just listening. Then I moved onto a job where I spent most of the day on a tractor. You'd think that I wouldn't be able to really listen doing that, but most of the work on that tractor was pretty mindless, so, again, walkman with a duffle bag full of tapes was the the norm.

Went from that to the restaurant, and I think that's when it started to slack off. At least that's when I sort of quit playing the guitar. I just didn't have time. Getting to work about 9 in the morning and getting off sometime after midnight will do that. On my days off, I either slept most of the day or I left town just to be sure that work didn't call me (that was back before everyone had cell phones).

Moved off and got a job in sales, but I was going to school at night. Weekends, when I wasn't studying I was driving back to my hometown. I listened to plenty of music then, but it was more to stay awake and not to listen. Went from there to a corporate job. Weekends were always on the road for one reason or another, but, on the occasion that stayed home, I started playing guitar again, and you can tell by looking at my CD shelf that I would spend some time listening. That was, also, about the time that I discovered Rhapsody and could listen to stuff that wasn't on that shelf.

New job and new married and now spend every moment not working with my favorite person. We had our favorite bands, and we'd go to a concert here and there, but I never really sat to just listen. Another new job that eventually turned into always working. Then another new job. And suddenly I haven't really listened to music in years.

I realized a few weeks ago that several times in the previous weeks I had just sat and listened. In those few weeks, I had re-discovered some old stuff and heard some other things for the first time. It's been refreshing. I didn't realize how much I had missed it until I realized I was doing it again.

Since 2010, I have made a concerted effort to continue playing my guitar no matter how busy I have been. I had realized back then how that grounded me. I knew that my mental health depended on it. After a hard day, one quick way to get back in a good head space is to hit my little music room and play for a few minutes.

Now that I've started just listening, it's something I want to keep up as well. Maybe it has something to do with the whole thing of just sitting and being quiet. Maybe it plays off the nostalgia thing since I'm now firmly ensconced in middle age. I don't know. But it's therapeutic. 

If you haven't just sat and listened lately, carve out 30 minutes, grab an old favorite tape or CD or tee up your favorite album on your streaming service of choice. Then just sit and listen.